If I Get Old Movie Reviews

I love a good superhero movie. It may even be my favorite genre. This was not a good superhero movie.

This movie lacked everything that made the first two worthwhile. It wasn’t as dark or serious as the others. It was so light-hearted that it seemed to be almost mocking the other films.

I know that the director changed and that makes a big difference. This franchise started with a director with no real comic adaptation movie experience and he did wonderfully. However, he did direct Apt Pupil and The Usual Suspects. The new guy also has no relevant experience, but he did direct Rush Hour. Comparing the credentials of the two I’m sorry that I expected any better from the new guy.

I don’t think that he approached this movie with a proper respect for the previous two. It reminds me of the way Batman Forever and Batman & Robin seemingly killed that series.

I do hope that they have the desire to keep going. One big draw for the comic and, seemingly the movies is that there is a plethora of characters that you can introduce and explore. Unlike Spiderman, Batman or Superman, there does not have to be one singular hero to pull them all together. I don’t know that I want to see these movies still in theatres with my grandchildren, but I’m also not ready to see them dropped completely just because of one bad script. The opening weekend box office numbers look big enough to entice Fox to shop around for a new script to work with.

I don’t want to spoil anything for those of you who may not have seen it yet, but everybody dies. The few that don’t are, largely, not the ones that I would like to have carry these stories farther.

Let me start by saying that I am completely embarrassed to even mention that we saw this movie, much less on opening night. Jon Heder blinded me. Somehow, I managed not to think about the fact that “Deuce Bigalow” and “Joe Dirt” were the other stars of the “film.” There were a couple of funny moments but for the most part is was, to quote Kevin Smith, “Dick and Fart jokes” for the majority of the time. I haven’t felt this bad after seeing a movie since I saw Mystery Men.

All of the charm and innocence of Napoleon Dynamite was left out of this picture. David Spade was not able to quite express his true talent of being venomously snide. Yet, somehow, this was the best role I have ever seen Rob Schneider in. His character was clean (read: not covered in crap or dressed like a derelict) and didn’t talk with some ridiculously awful accent. Maybe he could just try to act like a normal person and have a real career in the movie making industry.

The story did attempt to have a decent moral. The gist of it was, if you are mean to people it hurts their feelings and negatively impacts their life, possibly forever. Therefore, you should not be mean to people. If you have been mean, you should ask for their forgiveness.

I suppose that if I had properly done my research and found that Adam Sandler wrote the script, I would have made a much better decision and stayed home. The upside was that we were able to see the new X-Men trailer.

Feel free to offer ideas for punishment and penance for subjecting, not only myself but also my wife to this drivel.

Let me start by saying that we completely forgot that this was a Spike Lee Joint until the opening credits. With that knowledge everyone should expect extremely foul language throughout. You have been warned.

Aside from that I did find this to be rather enjoyable. It was a departure, for Mr. Lee, from his usual movies. The plot was unusual enough to not be boring, something that more movies in this genre could learn from. Other than that I did not find anything spectacular about the movie. The performances were exactly what you would expect from actors of this caliber. I was overjoyed that Jodie Foster had only a small part.

The truly negative aspect of the movie was some of the camera work. There were a few scenes in which the camera made a slow pan in a confined space with the lens just out of focus. The worst example of this was in an office (about 10’ x 10’), in which the camera panned a full 360 degrees and you could never make out any of the photos or signs or anything on the wall. It was physically nauseating.

Most Memorable Line:


“That thing you’re sucking on….It’s not a pina colada.”

Yes, this movie did come out some time ago. We went to see it on opening weekend and loved it. The reason for the review now, is the release of the DVD this week. We have been reading this book before bed recently and we purchased and saw the movie again this week.

I was originally, very concerned that Disney was going to lose the story, and I commend them for not mucking it up.

I remember really liking the effects, and the music. I was actually moved by the performances delivered by the children. They convinced me that there was a real relationship between each of them. I think that the casting was phenomenal for all of the characters.

Having read and seen the same story within a week of the events, I must say that I am elated at how the movie managed to remain true to the original story while adding some elements that appeal to a new generation. This is what the eternal optimist in me needed out of the Lord of The Rings movies.

What continues to concern me is the fact that there was not only one book. I believe there were seven total. I have seen that the next film is scheduled for release in 2007. I’m saying now that this is the strongest storyline of any of the books in the series that I have read. I do not expect the other movies to be nearly as good.

I have been meaning to review this movie for some time now. It’s been a week and a half since I saw it. The main reason for my delay is that I couldn’t really think of what I wanted to say about it. I thought that the visual portion was stunning and that the accompanying music was wonderful. I found the story to be lacking. There was no plot per se.

That was my original idea for this review, not spectacular. It wasn’t until today that I realized a very significant correlation to one of my desert island top five favorite books, Great Expectations. You all know that the convict had been Pip’s benefactor all along. He had gone to tremendous lengths to make sure that Pip was taken care of and educated in all of the finer things. The big difference was that the convict didn’t want Pip to grow up to become his sex slave. He wanted to give Pip the chances that he was never afforded. Somehow, hiring someone to teach a little girl to be your personal prostitute is ok and worthy of winning awards.