If I Get Old Movie Reviews

Let me start by saying that I am completely embarrassed to even mention that we saw this movie, much less on opening night. Jon Heder blinded me. Somehow, I managed not to think about the fact that “Deuce Bigalow” and “Joe Dirt” were the other stars of the “film.” There were a couple of funny moments but for the most part is was, to quote Kevin Smith, “Dick and Fart jokes” for the majority of the time. I haven’t felt this bad after seeing a movie since I saw Mystery Men.

All of the charm and innocence of Napoleon Dynamite was left out of this picture. David Spade was not able to quite express his true talent of being venomously snide. Yet, somehow, this was the best role I have ever seen Rob Schneider in. His character was clean (read: not covered in crap or dressed like a derelict) and didn’t talk with some ridiculously awful accent. Maybe he could just try to act like a normal person and have a real career in the movie making industry.

The story did attempt to have a decent moral. The gist of it was, if you are mean to people it hurts their feelings and negatively impacts their life, possibly forever. Therefore, you should not be mean to people. If you have been mean, you should ask for their forgiveness.

I suppose that if I had properly done my research and found that Adam Sandler wrote the script, I would have made a much better decision and stayed home. The upside was that we were able to see the new X-Men trailer.

Feel free to offer ideas for punishment and penance for subjecting, not only myself but also my wife to this drivel.